life is so confusing

i had an eye opening, system shocking, life altering moment yesterday. im now jumping ahead, let me go back to the start,

there's this boy, his name is B, i find him irresistibly attractive, and well i finally had the opportunity to kiss him, so like any other young lady, i jumped on the chance. as time went on, we were more then just kisses, we were causal...fun. nothing serious, but a good time non the less. like all other girls, i obviously would like to be more then fun. and now i have to throw a wrench in his life story.

last month we had some fun, and some cloths ( all clothes where off) and one thing led to another, the moment was heated and passionate. i didnt think anything of it as i was taking the needed precautions,  but like all other unpredictable situations you cant tell the future. time went on, i didnt notice anything, but then i got to thinking, of the "what if...." and those can be dangerous.

then of last week came around i was wondering when mother nature is coming around, still no sign, so like the prepared female, i decided to test out the slim chances that my urine may just reveal a bump in the road. the test was a blinking positive "yes"..... i didnt believe it, false positives happen all the time right?

so what should my next set be? obviously to get it confirmed or dismissed, i went to a unplanned parenthood office to see if they could give me a positive or negative, she gave me a congratulations,.....    shit, she said its a 99% chance its real.


now what? i guess its time to find a real doctor to get this confirmed, so i can break it to the poor guy who im not even in a relationship with.

Life just got so confusing

I was just told

"I feel you are a girl that isn't appreciated enough. Gets taken for granted"



And it's sadly true

Generic Love Poem

Generic Love Poem

Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased
My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              kill myself/ tell your wife/ Dover
How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die
I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay
Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack
Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool
I will                           miss you/ kill you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together
I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call

I loved meeting your family :p

Julia

Hello gorgeous,
you dont deserve to feel down today. You are wonderful and magnificant in your very own way, and you make someone very happy, and I think that makes you significantly less worthless than you think.
You may not know this, but you are the reason someone smiles. You are the person who keeps their sadness away, even if just for a moment. you smile is infectious and your laughter is adorable. And if you snort while laughing thats precious too.
You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I love you

Really

Why am I afraid to lose you when you're not even mine ?

B

My heart races every time I see that I have a text from you. <3
I think I have a problem :/

Ds

I missed you today.

You melted my heart

Yes for sure sarcasm lol. Ha k well. Shorter than me. But not to short cause I like to be able to just bend over and kiss them. Someone not quiet cause that's boring and akward cause you cant talk alot. Not shy. Not afraid to say there part. Can make fun of people but also can take a joke. Ambitious in life. Cares for others and her self. Not a fucking slut. Not a goodie goodie. Has confidence. Someone I can call up anytime anywhere and chat with or hang out with and doesn't need forever to get ready first. A Girly girl but at the same time not haha. Likes to so things like sledding or anything really. I unno just ya. It seems like I'm picky haha. And I'm not just saying this now but what I said last night is true so much of it is you ha. I'm seriously not trying me be creepy here

Yes, this one is for me

if Being a bitch means: I stand up for myself and my beliefs. I stand up for those I love. I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my way. I won’t compromise what’s in my heart, I live my life my way. I won’t allow anyone to step on me, I refuse to tolerate injustice. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be me. So try to stomp on, douse my inner flame, squash every ounce of beauty I hold within. You won’t succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.