Let others take you as you are, or not at all.

 Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.  By being yourself, you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before.  So walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going.

I've learnt that...

You can't let God down, because you arnt holding him up.

Brian

You asked me what my opinion if you is, here it is...
Your not stupid, you challenge me in conversations. You arnt afraid to state your opinion. Your good looking, you probably know that but arnt cocky and asshole like. You have a decent sense of humour. Your really sweet, in both ways ( cool person, and taste good!) you seems to be a hard worker. Your sociable, your a happy person a least u seem happy. Your a little bit mysterious, your confident, little bit weird. But that makes things fun. You have a nice bod. You seem open minded. You also seem like an honest person. Calm, not aggressive but more of a gentle person. Not a pathetic gentle but the good type. You seem content in life, a little disobedient, fairly easy going. Easy to get along with . You hav nice lips. Good natured, active, not lazy. Likeable, a little reckless when having fun. Seem respectful. Sarcastic. Have a fantastic smile, Id give you an A. :)

What It Feels Like When Saying “No” Doesn’t Work

It feels like your hand touching me through my jeans as my confused mind tries to catch up to what is happening to me.

It feels like me stopping you from removing my shirt and you taking that as a sign that it’s time for you to try unbuttoning my pants.

It feels like I can’t move away with your arm wrapped so tightly around my waist and your hand so intent on exploring parts of me that I fruitlessly try to keep to myself.

It feels like me trying to decipher exactly when kissing was no longer the only goal, when I became uncomfortable, when I became threatened.

It feels like being told to stay despite my request to leave. It feels like you physically lifting me from the ground as I stand to go, my mouth silenced by yours.

It feels like guilt and confusion, like it may have been my fault that you took advantage of my inexperience. Like kissing you in the first place may have justified you touching me after me telling you to stop.

It feels like realizing that my words mean nothing as you text me repeatedly and that my silence is equally as invaluable as you assume that your unanswered “Sorry” fixes everything.

It feels like you asking me to dinner because you apologized for violating me, like until there is a reason that I could have said no, I’m in a constant state of consent.

It feels like I’m nothing but my body, that I have no valid excuse to objecting to your touch, that as a man you are entitled to everything I am.

It feels empty.



By Sam Matthis

Heyde

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life.”

broken people

“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.”

— Douglas Coupland

Listen to me

Hello gorgeous,

You don't deserve to feel down today. You're wonderful and magnificent in your very own way, and you make someone very happy, and I think that makes you significantly not as worthless as you think.
You may not know this, but you are the reason someone smiles. You are the person who keeps their sadness away, even for just a moment. Your smile's infectious, your laughter is adorable. And if you snort when you laugh, well that's just precious, too.
So maybe your crush didn't do something wonderful today. It's okay, because you have another day, you have another hour -- hell, you could have this very minute, too, for them to do something wonderful. Maybe they'll call, or smile at you tomorrow, or tell you, "hey shorty, I think you grew half a centimeter today," or maybe they'll notice your new watch, and if someone tries to order coffee for you, maybe they'll say, "no, she doesn't drink coffee," and he'll show you that he knows that about you.
Have a wonderful, wonderful day!

this ones you for you babe.

Hey Babe,
You are amazing. You’re strong and beautiful…
Or at least that’s what you’ve been told.
People have tested you and you never seem to break, so they push you because they think your strong. You have to be strong for them, because if you do breakdown they will see how weak you really are. And weakness is not acceptable. Even your ‘best friend’ has only see your tears once or twice, because you know inside that she judges you.
I know you feel weak, because you’ve been cheating on yourself. Cheating. And by your actions, that nobody sees, your hurting yourself and your future. How will you be able to love your future spouse if you are selfish, if all you love is yourself? You thought you could overcome this weakness, but we haven’t been able to beat this one. Get help. Show this weakness, so it can be overcome. So you can end this thing once and for all.
Showing your weakness will only strengthen you, it may be hard to reveal, but remember your not alone, you have me, and in your moment of weakness there is hope of growth and strengthening. Don’t give in, don’t fall down again, it hurts and crying sucks. But it happens, sometimes it’s out of your control. but this one can be over sooner, if you only cry out for help.
Remember; there is always someone listening and waiting to come and rescue you.
Show the world how strong you really are, by calling out for help.
XOXO

I should probably stop doing this...

ps...i saw you

I saw you, sitting in your truck, and it was odd, the rush of feelings i got from it. The paranoia, of "did he see me?!!?" then i realized i really dont want you to have seen me. because if you did, that means your still ignoring me, and well thats pretty pathetic of you. you say you "are getting your life in order" well i think  you should start with an apology to me for all you put me through.

I would hope you and your stupid truck end up in the ditch, but then i realized you'd just cause drama, and well...your already dramatic enough.

hold your head high and move on, no one is holding you back

Let's Make A Deal by Diane Blue
You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.
You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.
You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.
You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.
You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.
You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.
You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.
You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.
You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.
Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?

JT, your Facebook status was ridiculous

Here is my version of it... " they say you are what you eat, now we all know u eat shit"

This is not me

This is not who I want to be. This person I see in the mirrors reflection has my face. But I no longer know who is looking back at me.

Things must be changed

a lil advice

“Don’t play hard to get… play hard to forget.”

and another

I know that you'll never read this and I don't even care. But I think I have to express exactly how I feel. I don't care if you reject me, ignore me, and forget all about me. I just have to tell you before it's too late. I been taking forever because you hurt me and deserted me. It's not a big deal at all...to you. I can find someone else easily. But the thing is, I really don't want to. I don't understand what happened between us. Maybe it's because you found someone better than me... You just don't realize how much that hurt me. I honestly want to forget about you, but that's my problem. I can't. You've never gave me a real apology, you just cared about yourself and left me there to figure it all out. And now I have: You got sick of me, found someone better than me, dumped me, dated her, ignored me, befriended me, and now you've forgotten about me.

JT, this one's for you

Maybe I should start pretending like nothing ever happened between us, I mean since it was so easy for you...

March 8th, 2012

Another  memorable time chilling with D. His birthday was the very next day. so obviosly i had to hang out with him untill i could be the ligit first person to wish him a happy birthday! I pre much rocked that! We watched a tv show, which by the was had quite a few sex scenes!, but we wached that in his room, layin on his bed again! This time we didnt really cuddle untill it got late. like  almost midnight. i some how mannaged to sneak in and  cozy on up beside him. we just chilled and chatted. then some how, we ened up face to face, like so close. eyes closed and just chilling, nothing nore happening. untill i  came back from starting the car, layed right on top of him!  squish squish, then i decided to lick his cheek! he ened up getting me back. so i licked his nose. then he started to nodd off, so i kissed his nose! after that he seemed to have a jump start and was a lil' more awake! We ended up face to face again, so close i could have kissed him, or he coould have kissed me. but no kissed happened. I was going to kiss him because it was his last moment being 19. but i decided against it. why? im not sure, probably because kissing leads to other things, things im not sure im ready for. what things exactly do i mean? i dont just mean the physical things, buthe mental aspect of it all, i would love a boy to have to cuddle and kiss with, but i heard that that usually requires a relationship...

March 4th, 201

To day was a day filled with excitement, I hung out with a new friend today, he goes by the name of D, he is a unique person with the personality of a firecracker, once you get him lit he goes off and shines. Im positive that he has some sort of internal energy that keeps him going.
   We went on an outing today to walmart and beyond!' Walmart? you may ask, what is the excitement in walmark? well let me begin, first of all you meet the most interesting people of all time there, the  people of walmart will keep you entertained for hours. not only are there people to watch, but erhe are bikes to be ridden. Are the supposed to be ridden in the store? Or course not! but the staf at the local walmart are few so they dont even notice. Up and down the Aisles we chased eachother. We where having a merry time of it untill a grumpy staff stopped us and told us to get off them and walk them back! We asked if we could ride them back, but apparently not. we got off, turned tehm around, hopped back on them and road off downhe asial. No we did not put them back where they belong, we instead parked them in the far corner of the store, After the bike incident we then indulged in some baby food. And boy I feel for babies! that stuff is nasty as all could be!

The night ended, well actually it didn't. We went back to his place and watched a movie or something. It stared to get late, but instead of going home, we layed on his bed and listened to all the music on his newly purchased ipod, which was loaded with the most random heavy death metal! by then it was like one o' clock, and i was like "either you need to drive me home, or i'm spending  the night." He was bagged and had to work in five hours... so i decdied, the next thing I did was flick off the light switch and pre much fell asleep. But right as iw as nodding off, i heard a voice "do you wanna cuddle?" like hell i would pass up cuddling! ( I love cuddling) so I ened up sleeping in a boys bed cuddled all night! yeas memorys where made.

New Experiances,

So I've recently moved to Alberta, the cold frozen land of Alberta. I moved with my brother and his wife. Why did I move? Because I'm pursuing a future in hairdressing, so I'm here working on apprenticeship, which will take me about two years to complete, but Ive already been working on it for five months so I'm almost a fourth done already!